I usually don’t let people saying things get to me but recently I’ve just let everything get to me. I usually have some way of blocking all the hateful words out, something that keeps me strong but now I don’t. I actually have nothing. My friends really don’t care about me and I’m just falling apart.
I actually can’t cope anymore, people trying to bring me down, calling me fat/ugly etc
it’s too much now.
genuinely sick of all the verbal abuse I get because of my appearance, sigh.
☯I really miss the thought of waking up beside somebody, someone keeping me warm and holding me all night, tickling the bottom of my back and kissing between my shoulder blades when I was topless and we were going to sleep to relax me and help me drift off quicker. I miss waking up warm, but feeling safe. The idea of morning kisses were always the best ideas. I miss listening to music and watching poorly produced horror films and British comedy shows. I just miss having someone there, someone who I actually thought cared. I don’t understand how anyone can go from seeing someone to seeing another person without any warning. All I do is get ignored now and I apologize for saying this but a step down has been taken, I’m nothing special in the slightest but at least i’m not a nasty person. I’m done in trusting people now, I’m done in giving people time. I will lie in bed by myself and watch horror films and British comedies. I’ll listen to music and I’ll no longer long for someone to care about me.
I’m completely done.
☯PLEASE READ!!!
I’m really sorry that over the past few months I’ve completely and utterly neglected Tumblr and all of my followers on it. I’ve been really busy with exams and preparing for them also a lot of things have been going on at home which has kind of caused me to stress out for a little while. The reason I stopped coming on Tumblr is because I really couldn’t cope with the things that people were saying to me basically because of where I was at, But I’m fine now and I’ve basically sorted myself out. I only have 2 exams left and I leave school in about 2 weeks which means, no more exams, no more coursework and I will be free to blog as much as I want. I’ve recently started using twitter again, so if people want to follow me on there as I’m on there quite alot you guys should go for it, my twitter is @graceloisrowe.
Anyway, Until my next massive breakdown/block/college I’ll be here, so talk to me, send me asks and get to know me!
Thankyou for reading this x
It’s nice
sitting in bed and looking forward to going to sleep because you know you’ll have someone to think about before you nod off. It’s nice knowing that you’ll be able to text them as soon as you wake up as well and it excites me that i’ll be able to say ‘have a brilliant day today, i’ll see you soon’ I’ve had nothing like that in a while. It makes me smile to think about spending time with him and it makes me smile thinking about how he cuddles me. I can’t wait until he stays over again, it’s the best thing every waking up and having him by my side, still cuddling me tightly, waiting for me to turn over so I can give him a kiss on the head and then for us to drift back to sleep together.
☯